An Open Letter to my Forever People

To my Forever People, 

Thank you. 

Thank you for everything. 

I know I don't always say how I feel. I drive y'all crazy and sometimes want to make you put my head through a wall. I know I have my crack head hours where I am just off the walls wild. I don't make sense half the time. Go through boys like the seasons. One minute I'm talking to one boy, the next is someone else. I know you sometimes wonder how I survive because if you leave me alone for more then two hours I get myself in trouble. I'm not that sentimental, that we all know, but I'm going to try. Although, you probably won't need tissues because it's me.

We've been through a lot. Way too much. 

From mental breakdowns in bars or cars, just because tears, to adventures, to laughter, to broken hearts, to crack head hours, to first, to fights, to boys or girls, to a lack of sanity and stupidity, to parties, to distances across the country, the military, to just straight forgetting there was a reality.

I don't know what I would do without you all. Honestly, I probably would have just stayed in my little bubble. Not try new things, be scared, confident, or find my voice. You all in your own individual way have made me stronger. Have pulled me out of my turtle shell that I have long been wearing. Not going to lie it was comfy but now that I see the world, I'm willing to leave it behind.

Growing up, I never had a lot of friends. Thinking about it now, I'm grateful for that. Not having a lot of friends taught me to pick the best of the best. Okay, that'a lie. I made some friends that didn't last that long but we all need those people along the way to find the friendships that deserve to last over a year, five years, ten years.

My mother always taught me that you should be able to count your close friends on your hands. If you go past that, you should reevaluate. Who actually knows you? Because you have close friends that know the ins and outs of you. You have friends that know what's on the outside and friends that see what they get. As I was digesting that I noticed not everyone knows me. The people I talk to everyday are the ones that have been through thick and thin with me know who I am. Everyone else is simply well... acquaintances.

You guys have become the sisters I never had and the over protective brothers I never asked for (As much as it's annoying and as much as I sometimes I do want to rip my hair out, I can't help the smile, the genuine smile that forms on my face). I wouldn't trade y'all for the world even if at times it may seem like it.

I'm a pessimist. I have a tendency to have a sour look on my face (not my fault I have R.B.F.). I speak my mind way too much (even when I should filter it). I can be mean but the kindest person. I'm the "mom" of the group. I always want what is best for you. I will support you no matter what. I'm definitely not the Aladdin of the group with showing you the world but I can try and be your light. I'm stubborn. A mess... A hot mess. I have a tendency to push people away (For some reason you guys kept coming back). I have trust issues. I can be shy. I can be awkward. My anxiety can get the best of me and I can snap in an instance. I lack confidence. I can keep going with this list. I really can.

Somehow though, with the good and the bad, you guys still love and accept me all the same. You guys helped me find my voice that I needed to be strong. Helped me learn to gain the confidence I long lacked. The confidence I needed to see the beauty inside me. You showed me how I am worth more than I thought I was. You guys gave me the push I needed to keep my head up and know I can make it through. You guys taught me how to let people in (even if it's slowly). You guys showed me trust and how you will never leave me, even when the tides get rough.

You guys don't know it now, but you kind of saved me. 

Things would have been different if I chose another path for my life. If I never moved and changed schools. If I decided to transfer out of university. Somehow though God had plans for me that just so happened to involve you. I'm thankful for elementary, middle school, high school, and college (you all oddly come from a different time in my life). Our last year might have been cut short. Sure, we won't have our last hoorah for senior year, I can't be shown a new state, cook for you, or celebrate the new beginnings and paths we will be taking. Here's the thing, that doesn't define us. Our bonds are strong enough that I know we will be celebrating those in a year, five, ten, twenty years for different celebrations life has to offer us.

I'm forever grateful I found the people who will be my person(s), bridesmaids (I didn't forget you guys, maybe you can be my future groom, groomsmen. I mean you can stand next to me I don't discriminate), the godparents to my future children. I'm forever grateful for my forever people.

I know I am not always the first person to say "I love you." You guys have a tendency to always say it first. I've always been a firm believer in actions speak louder than words. I always will be. But here it is nonetheless,

I love you guys. Thank you for everything.

Thank you for showing me the world at it's finest, even if to me it looked a little rusty. 

Sippin' Pretty, Sippin' Strong,
Moli