You. Are. Worth. It.
Hello, how are you? Did you shower today? Did you get out of bed? Did you feed yourself? Did you smile? Did you try that new thing you always claimed you would do?
I know it's hard. I know it feels like the world is ending. I know it seems like nothing is going the right way. It feels like every time you have your life together, it falls apart. Every time you try to smile, something breaks it.
I know you are hard on yourself. I know when you think you have it figured out, something comes along and tells you "no." I know your dreams might have been ruined. I know your mental health has kept you back more than you wanted. I know you thought about it. I know you faked it just to make those around you happy. I know you cry yourself to sleep somedays waiting for everyone in the house to go to sleep before breaking down. Covering your mouth to make sure you do not disrupt the peace. I know you are scared to trust someone. I know you are scared. I know you feel you lost yourself to the fire that burns deep within your heart. I know your heart is broken and I know your brain is over the moon with thoughts flooding through. I know you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder when the old you will shine through once again. I know you question when things are going to go your way.
I know you lost faith, hope, and clarity.
I know you think no one understands. I know you don't want to open up to someone in fear of hurting someone else. I know you are broken. I know it hurts to breathe some days. I know getting up and doing something is the hardest task you will ever have to do. I know you think you are worthless. I know you think no one loves you because you feel incapable of love. I know you think you are not the ideal person that another wants. I know it's easier to say goodbye than hello. I know you say sorry more than you should. I know you regret the things you've done. I know you feel guilty. I know you feel like a mess. I know you question who you are and how to accept yourself. I know you lost interest in the things that once made you laugh and smile. I know you can no longer find the words to express yourself. I know you care more than you should. I know you are tired of making wishes that never come true.
I know you give the world to those who don't deserve it.
For so long you have allowed yourself to feel this way. For so long you have gotten into your own head and allowed others to float there too. Sometimes you put yourself down to make others feel better, for you to at least feel something. The thing is, you shouldn't have to do that.
Trust me, when I say I used to do that too. I still have my moments but I realized I am something so much more.
It took me a long time to take those thoughts and change them into something positive. It got to the point where those thoughts consumed me, they became my comfort. It took me looking in the mirror, broken and scared of my own thoughts, for me to realize my worth. I struggled with who I was, where I was going, the way in which I look, my fake smile. I was no longer excited for the day.
I woke up one day and I was tired of being broken. I was tired of feeling numb and not being worth it. I started to do things to make myself feel better. I started to realize who was in my life and the way in which they stood there. The people who went through the motions.
I know you are broken. Only you can put yourself back together again - I know you are waiting for someone else to put you back together again but that is a lie. Only you can start that process. Start it when you are ready.
I know you think no one understands. To this day I still feel like that. I'm afraid to open to up to other in fear of them judging but when you listen to others speak you realize they understand in a weird way.
I know you are afraid of hurting others. It links back to thinking no one understands but from what I learned me not opening up has hurt those around me more than my thoughts. It still takes me time and sometimes I have to go through it before I open up but give it time. Open up when you are ready. Don't disturb your peace, to give others theirs.
I know you think you are incapable of love. Trust me when I say I feel the same way too, but that is far from the truth. Everyone will love you in their own way. Not everyone is capable of expressing that they care or they love you. So study their actions. Remember actions speak louder than words.
I know you say sorry a lot, you feel guilty, and getting up some days will be the hardest. Sorry is my favorite word and I always feel guilty with what I say and what I do. I always take back what I say, pull back, go into my bubble. I do it all the time. Some days when I am having a really bad day, I don't want to move from bed. Talking to people becomes a task and every. little. thing frustrates me to no end. They don't really tell you this, but it does get better. As stupid as it sounds, it does.
I know you lost faith, hope, and clarity. I did too. Some days when I feel like the world is against me I shut down and I want to give up. I would be lying if I said I didn't have a few words with the Man Upstairs. Some days when everything seems clear, it seems the universe has other ideas and makes everything foggy. Makes everything seem so stupid. Not worth it. I lose hope, I lose my faith and I just run with it. Although, it changes, somedays. I realized I needed the fog in order to find what I really need or what I really want. It's hard, never easy but in an odd way, I get to the end of the tunnel. Maybe with tears, maybe with frustration and sadness. Maybe with a smile, maybe with happiness. But I always get to the end and so will you.
I know you give the world to those who don't deserve it. I have the worst habit of doing this. I give the world to those I know don't deserve it. I try to fix broken things. Broken things I cut myself on. I rather make myself bleed than watch someone else bleeding. I have always been that way, protect everyone but I lost myself along the way. It took awhile but I realized I am not a rug to be walked over. I am just as human and capable as they are. And you can't fix a broken thing if you're broken. Because trust me when I say you break yourself more when you fix a broken thing. Some things are also meant to stay broken.
I know you feel worthless. You are not worthless. You. Are. Worth. It. I know it feels like the world is ending. I know it feels like you can't find your ground. I know it's scary. I know some days just aren't worth it. But that's far from the truth. The world might be ending today and tomorrow but next week maybe all the pieces glue back together. The ground isn't meant to be steady. It's suppose to be bumpy. If it was smooth, you wouldn't come out strong. There are people who love you, there are people who envy you. But the thing is, you won't see your worth in their eyes, until you see your worth in your own eyes.
You. Are. Worth. It.
And don't forget that.
Sippin' Pretty, Sippin' Strong
Trust me, when I say I used to do that too. I still have my moments but I realized I am something so much more.
It took me a long time to take those thoughts and change them into something positive. It got to the point where those thoughts consumed me, they became my comfort. It took me looking in the mirror, broken and scared of my own thoughts, for me to realize my worth. I struggled with who I was, where I was going, the way in which I look, my fake smile. I was no longer excited for the day.
I woke up one day and I was tired of being broken. I was tired of feeling numb and not being worth it. I started to do things to make myself feel better. I started to realize who was in my life and the way in which they stood there. The people who went through the motions.
I know you are broken. Only you can put yourself back together again - I know you are waiting for someone else to put you back together again but that is a lie. Only you can start that process. Start it when you are ready.
I know you think no one understands. To this day I still feel like that. I'm afraid to open to up to other in fear of them judging but when you listen to others speak you realize they understand in a weird way.
I know you are afraid of hurting others. It links back to thinking no one understands but from what I learned me not opening up has hurt those around me more than my thoughts. It still takes me time and sometimes I have to go through it before I open up but give it time. Open up when you are ready. Don't disturb your peace, to give others theirs.
I know you think you are incapable of love. Trust me when I say I feel the same way too, but that is far from the truth. Everyone will love you in their own way. Not everyone is capable of expressing that they care or they love you. So study their actions. Remember actions speak louder than words.
I know you say sorry a lot, you feel guilty, and getting up some days will be the hardest. Sorry is my favorite word and I always feel guilty with what I say and what I do. I always take back what I say, pull back, go into my bubble. I do it all the time. Some days when I am having a really bad day, I don't want to move from bed. Talking to people becomes a task and every. little. thing frustrates me to no end. They don't really tell you this, but it does get better. As stupid as it sounds, it does.
I know you lost faith, hope, and clarity. I did too. Some days when I feel like the world is against me I shut down and I want to give up. I would be lying if I said I didn't have a few words with the Man Upstairs. Some days when everything seems clear, it seems the universe has other ideas and makes everything foggy. Makes everything seem so stupid. Not worth it. I lose hope, I lose my faith and I just run with it. Although, it changes, somedays. I realized I needed the fog in order to find what I really need or what I really want. It's hard, never easy but in an odd way, I get to the end of the tunnel. Maybe with tears, maybe with frustration and sadness. Maybe with a smile, maybe with happiness. But I always get to the end and so will you.
I know you give the world to those who don't deserve it. I have the worst habit of doing this. I give the world to those I know don't deserve it. I try to fix broken things. Broken things I cut myself on. I rather make myself bleed than watch someone else bleeding. I have always been that way, protect everyone but I lost myself along the way. It took awhile but I realized I am not a rug to be walked over. I am just as human and capable as they are. And you can't fix a broken thing if you're broken. Because trust me when I say you break yourself more when you fix a broken thing. Some things are also meant to stay broken.
I know you feel worthless. You are not worthless. You. Are. Worth. It. I know it feels like the world is ending. I know it feels like you can't find your ground. I know it's scary. I know some days just aren't worth it. But that's far from the truth. The world might be ending today and tomorrow but next week maybe all the pieces glue back together. The ground isn't meant to be steady. It's suppose to be bumpy. If it was smooth, you wouldn't come out strong. There are people who love you, there are people who envy you. But the thing is, you won't see your worth in their eyes, until you see your worth in your own eyes.
You. Are. Worth. It.
And don't forget that.
Sippin' Pretty, Sippin' Strong
Moli
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